channing tatum

Movie Monday – Magic Mike, Bernie

I’m probably going to surprise a few of you. I did NOT like Magic Mike. I do NOT find grabbing of crotches and crotch thrusting sexy or attractive. Channing Tatum can dance. That’s for sure. I love and appreciate the dancing – the parts before the crotch thrusting. I guess I’m just not your average girl. I find Mad Men infinitely more sexy. (I’ve been catching up on Season 5 lately. Completely intoxicating.) I’d rather see a man up to his elbows in grease or sweat. I like to see men as men and near naked bodies crudely simulating sex on a stage, or even more horrifying, in the face or lap of an audience member, do not seem manly to me. It’s not feminine, but it’s not masculine to me either. A friend surprised me with a trip to a strip club before my wedding (never having been before) and tried to put me on stage like the many girls onstage in the movie. I was not having it. I was so uncomfortable and turned off. I thought the whole atmosphere was creepy. To my surprise, I felt the same way about this movie. I think that I thought it would be more glamorous and classy in a movie, the way I’ve always thought a Vegas show or Chippendale type show would be classy. But it’s not. It’s dirty and rude and not a healthy, positive lifestyle for the dancers. I’m completely horrified to recall the many articles and blogs I read when Magic Mike was in the theater about audiences full of women cheering and whooping right along with the audience in the film. I can’t relate. I felt uncomfortable just watching it at home alone. All the flesh I really care to see is maybe a bare chest and some rippling back and arm muscles. Some bulging biceps in a tight shirt is a nice treat too. I enjoy Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum as actors and they sure aren’t bad on the eyes, but I much prefer to leave more to the imagination.

I have mixed feelings about Bernie. I knew very little about it, aside from the fact that it was based on a true story and that it was filmed documentary style, which I forgot until I started watching – and didn’t particularly enjoy. It was an interesting movie but I don’t know if I could say I liked it. I was bored to tears for a good portion of the beginning. It started to get my attention halfway through and then the latter half was more engaging. Jack Black’s performance has been hailed as “penetrating” and “detailed” but award-worthy performances don’t really make a movie for me. I suppose you could say my taste is not sophisticated enough in that sense. I can appreciate what the makers of this movie were trying to do and according to many critics they did it exceedingly well. However, I didn’t find the “dark humor” of the film funny in the least, and I find it disturbing that the take away (for me) was that Marjorie got what she deserved for being such a terrible, mean old bitty.

The human body is the best work of art.
~ Jess C. Scott

Movie Monday – 21 Jump Street

I LOVED 21 Jump Street. I really didn’t think I would. But I laughed so hard I cried. Twice. And I was almost constantly laughing (less hard) throughout the whole movie. I just think they did a great, great job with it. Yes, it was silly. But it was silly in smart ways and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Don laughed too, maybe a little less, but I caught him smiling most of the way through even if he wasn’t laughing out loud like I was. He never watched the tv show so he couldn’t appreciate some of the more subtle jokes or nods to the show but I don’t think that hampered his viewing, it just made mine a little richer. If you haven’t seen this, make time to see it. I hope you have as much fun with it as I did.

Deputy Chief Hardy: We’re reviving a canceled undercover project from the ’80s and revamping it for modern times. The people behind this lack creativity and they’ve run out of ideas, so what they do now is just recycle shit from the past and hope that nobody will notice. 
~ 21 Jump Street, 2012 

Movie Monday – The Eagle

Well my oven has been on the fritz this past week, so I haven’t been able to make a new recipe I’ve been eager to try. Hopefully that will get ironed out in the coming week.

For now, I’ve got a Movie Monday update for you. Last week we watched The Eagle. In short, a Roman era movie in which a young soldier seeks to restore his family’s name by reclaiming something lost by his father in years past. I didn’t really know anything about the movie when we picked it up but I generally enjoy stories with a historical angle (historical fiction is one of my favorite choices for reading) so we gave it a chance. I really liked it. I’d like to say Don did too but he fell asleep and missed more than half the movie. In the movie’s defense, Don had been up since 5 am and been on duty for the three days before so really, odds were against his being able to stay awake regardless of the movie. He did like what he did see. Unfortunately we rented from a Blockbuster Express Kiosk (like RedBox – I just happen to have some free movie coupons for Blockbuster right now.) So, in keeping with the rules of renting from these types of vendors, we had to return the movie by 9 pm the next day and he didn’t have time to watch the other half before we returned it. But getting back to the movie, I liked the costumes and the cultures presented throughout the film. I could see many things in visual form with this film that are also being described in the book I’m currently reading (Voice of the Eagle) and that was especially fascinating for me. All of my rambling aside, if you like adventure and drama you might like this movie.

I also want to take a moment to brag that Don had a very successful hunting weekend – two hog and one doe. I’m so excited my eyes might burst out of my head. We really needed to replenish our meat supply and I am so thankful.

I do not hunt for the joy of killing but for the joy of living, and the inexpressible pleasure of mingling my life however briefly, with that of a wild creature that I respect, admire and value.
– John Madson